- Unsettled -

As I sit here trying to push myself to study, I get distracted...So many things are going through my mind, but none of which mean anything to me. They say that everything comes in cycles, but I didn't expect the way that I'm feeling to be coming around that quickly.

The feeling of emptiness, the desire to do nothing, the lack of motivation to succeed, and the loss of passion for the things and people I love. I thought my holiday would rejuvenate me, but that has not happened. What is it that's missing in my life at the moment? Do I need a new interest? A new goal I can strive for?

I’ve noticed that the word “quit” has been creeping into my vocabulary the last couple of years, something which before then, was unknown to me. But recently, this thought has appeared again and again in everything I do - CA, work, dance et al….

I hate feeling this way, so I’m hoping that someone or something will give me the strength and motivation I need…

Malaysia Part 2 - KL

With no more wedding duties and most of my shopping done in Penang, KL was the place to party…

Steamboat
The first weekend in KL was another huge family reunion, and we did what we always do best..and that’s EAT! Enduring the heat of the kitchen and with the fans blowing full blast, we celebrated with a steamboat dinner.



Clubbing
Just like the good ol’ days, except this time we had 2 special guests, Su Lynn and Eileen. Dancing with you again was a privilege and something that I will cherish for a long, long time. Who knows when the next time will be, when we can rock da floor together again?



In his usual fashion, Derrick engaged in a battle against the locals. Similar to the encounter between David and Goliath, they needed three of them to even provide him with a challenge. And most of the time, they would be biting moves from U Got Served. How original?

Karaoke
On my last day in KL, it was a Flare reunion like no other. It’s been such a long time since the “oldies” outnumbered the “newbies”. But on this occasion, there were 3 “Footnotes” dancers, compared to the 2 from “Rhythmicity”. It was great not being the oldest for once *someone glaring at me*. A big thank you to Jinnee, Grace, Derrick and Joon, who were willing to travel all the way to Subang to see me one last time. I had to have a karaoke session, which only cost RM10 for 3hrs of fun and a buffet lunch. We sure did make a few people deaf , but hell, we had a lot of fun doing it…from Bon Jovi classics to the Pussy Cat Dolls, and our “sexy” rendition of the lyrics and dance moves. Having these guys around really made me realise how much I miss them, and how much fun we used to have together. Let’s hope that we can share this moment again in the future.



After 2.5 weeks of celebrating, eating, shopping and partying, I was totally exhausted. It felt as if I needed a holiday to recover from my holiday. Before I go, I must thank all my family members who welcomed us once again, the 3 lovely dancers, and a special mention to Derrick and Jojo, who were my chauffeurs and accomodaters (if that’s a word). This has been the most rewarding holiday I’ve had in a long time. I even got to try Klang Bah Kut Teh….

Malaysia Trip Part 1 - Penang

Wedding
The purpose of this trip was for my cousin's wedding, where I had to fulfill best-man duties. As soon as we hit Penang, it started. I was briefed on the events for the following three days of celebration - the tea ceremony, the negotiations required to see the bride, the wedding speech, and the scheduling of the performances. In addition to that, I had to coordinate the arrival of the dancers from Flare Dance, who are now internationally renowned :p Thanks to ness, XY and jojo, who travelled from as far as Singapore to make it to this event. You guys were the bomb and definitely did not disappoint. After not dancing together for 3 months, we only needed one rehearsal the night before the gig to put it together.



However, the celebrations were hampered by a planned theft that occurred when the power was deliberately shut off. We were sitting right next to the table it happened at, and didn't even notice.

Reality TV
If you thought Flare only had one TV star amongst its ranks, you're wrong! In the 5 days I was in Penang, I managed to get myself on Malaysian TV too :P I performed a dance "demonstration" (wearing Flare tshirt of course..so international exposure for the group) for a new reality TV show that will be aired on channel TV3 from 24 Feb 2007 (7pm every Saturday). A relative of mine is starting her own dance school in Penang as part of the Nescafe Big Break competition, and so I joined in on the fun (which was recorded for TV!!!). Please give her all your support and wish her the best of luck for her new dance school, Lets Dance!.

Two Worlds Apart

During my brief 2-week stay in the place I call "home", I contemplated, more than ever, the possibility of me being able to live there, and the chance that I might actually move back some time in the future. Would I survive the long working hours? The constant heat? The language barrier, although my hokkien improved? The not-so-developed infrastructure?

But what was it that I was attracted to?

I think the most important factor would have to be the people back there. This trip has made me realise how special you are to me. I could not have been treated any better. Could it be the oily, but mouth-watering food? (At $1.50 per plate, you eat till you go silly). Or maybe the fact that I feel more comfortable there; a place where where I belong, and not get looked down upon cos of the colour of my hair or my skin.

A thought that has never crossed my mind until now: should I stay or should I go? As I suffer from the effects of withdrawal, I remain torn between two totally different worlds.