The Great Expectation

When it comes to how we perceive things in life, expectations play a key role in this. How do we know if we have done well, or if things are good or bad? It all comes down to the level of expectation.

A typical example is a movie. If you walk into a cinema not knowing what the film is about and what special effects it might have, then you might be pleasantly surprised at the end. Recently, I went to watch a film called Russian Dolls. At first, I had no idea that it was mainly spoken in French, and secondly, it was an arty sort of film that I would not usually go for. By the end of it, I thought that the way the story line was told was quite clever and despite it not being my thing, it was surprisingly enjoyable. On the other hand, had I gone into Deuce Bigalow 2 expecting it to be the best comedic experience of my life, I would have been bitterly disappointed.

Expectations can also apply to oneself. While studying at university, you place expectations on yourself to achieve certain results. These can stem from intrinsic or extrinsic motivation. If your expectations are too high, then you will be constantly under pressure to perform well. This sort of pressure can often lead to a breakdown, but on the contrary, it can also provide the kick-in-the-butt that you need while at uni.

Finally, you can have expectations of other people, whether it applies to friendship or more importantly, in a relationship. This relates to the amount of effort both parties are putting into the relationship. Other expectations in a relationship might include a goodnight call/kiss every night, open communication, time spent together, and constant re-affirmation of love. If one party is constantly trying to organize time with the other, without reciprocation, there are different levels of expectations in play. Consequently, this can lead to conflicts about commitment to each other, with one party often feeling short-changed. If expectations of your partner are high, then you will only be delivered disappointment when they are not fulfilled. If you DO NOT expect your partner to do anything, then disappointment will never be an issue. But do you really want to be in a relationship where there are no expectations of each other? No guide as to how you should act?

This issue of EXPECTATION has been constantly explored by me over the last couple of years, and more recently, in the last few weeks. In the past, I have set very high expectations of myself in whatever I do, whether it be karate, dance or university/school. As a result, the pressure I placed on myself was immense. Despite this, I would not change any of it, because during that time, it really brought out the best of me. This was the case until recently, where I lowered my expectations of certain aspects of my life…of myself and of other people. Not sure if it was caused by disappointment or some other factors. But the point is, I don’t like the way that it’s heading. By lowering expectations, I am actually degrading myself and the friendships/relationships I have developed. I WANT to revert to the same level that I had once achieved, but there is one thing stopping me…fear…the fear of being disappointed again. I guess the best solution is to take a balanced approach, and one that will maintain my integrity, but also avoid huge disappointment in the future.