A little thing called trust
Most of you would agree that money can almost buy you anything. However, no amount of money can ever buy a little thing called trust. Trust by definition, is the “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone” and “one in which confidence is placed” (Merriam-Webster).
No price can be placed on one’s character, ability, strength or truth. Instead, this can only be determined by the experiences that we share with other people. Through time, we learn about different types of people, and how each of them will act. Although this can form sometimes incorrect generalisations, it is not until you place TRUST in someone that you can really tell what they are like. When it comes to deciding whether or not you should place trust in someone, it’s a bit like fishing. You use certain bait to reel in the fish that you desire. When you are seeking someone to trust, initially, you will trust them with information that is sensitive (bait) but not catastrophic if leaked. From there, you use judgement about the trustworthiness of a person’s character. This can be a long and tedious task, if someone requires many “tests” before being approved, or it can be quite quick, if a person has a trusting character.
TRUST is about placing confidence in someone. Someone you know that will keep your secrets; someone you know that will not use this knowledge to betray you; someone you know that will offer you advice; and someone that will share the best and worst moments of your life. Whenever trust is placed in someone new, they start with a “full bar of trust”. The moment that a person deviates from any of the above, their trustworthiness value (not price) diminishes, and it is something that money cannot buy. Deviation causes doubt, a reduction in the communication of sensitive information, and if below the minimum satisfactory level in the “bar of trust”, total communication shut-off.
How many times have you heard someone say, “don’t tell xxx I told you this, but they said blah blah”? Is that not a BREACH of trust of the other party? How will you be assured that this same situation won’t happen to you if you trust the same person?
TRUST is a very tricky issue. There have been many times in my life where I have misjudged who to trust. I have let certain people into my life who have used everything they know about me to highlight my weaknesses, and to manipulate the way I think. Others have caused minor breaches of trust which have made me reconsider how much I tell them.
Is there anyone out there (apart from my family) who has the ability to retain a “full bar of trust” and someone whom I can TRUST my life with?
No price can be placed on one’s character, ability, strength or truth. Instead, this can only be determined by the experiences that we share with other people. Through time, we learn about different types of people, and how each of them will act. Although this can form sometimes incorrect generalisations, it is not until you place TRUST in someone that you can really tell what they are like. When it comes to deciding whether or not you should place trust in someone, it’s a bit like fishing. You use certain bait to reel in the fish that you desire. When you are seeking someone to trust, initially, you will trust them with information that is sensitive (bait) but not catastrophic if leaked. From there, you use judgement about the trustworthiness of a person’s character. This can be a long and tedious task, if someone requires many “tests” before being approved, or it can be quite quick, if a person has a trusting character.
TRUST is about placing confidence in someone. Someone you know that will keep your secrets; someone you know that will not use this knowledge to betray you; someone you know that will offer you advice; and someone that will share the best and worst moments of your life. Whenever trust is placed in someone new, they start with a “full bar of trust”. The moment that a person deviates from any of the above, their trustworthiness value (not price) diminishes, and it is something that money cannot buy. Deviation causes doubt, a reduction in the communication of sensitive information, and if below the minimum satisfactory level in the “bar of trust”, total communication shut-off.
How many times have you heard someone say, “don’t tell xxx I told you this, but they said blah blah”? Is that not a BREACH of trust of the other party? How will you be assured that this same situation won’t happen to you if you trust the same person?
TRUST is a very tricky issue. There have been many times in my life where I have misjudged who to trust. I have let certain people into my life who have used everything they know about me to highlight my weaknesses, and to manipulate the way I think. Others have caused minor breaches of trust which have made me reconsider how much I tell them.
Is there anyone out there (apart from my family) who has the ability to retain a “full bar of trust” and someone whom I can TRUST my life with?
posted by Kelvin at
5:56 AM
2 Comments:
Dear Kelvina,
Quite a deep and long post there. Have you been thinking a lot? I hope nothing bad has happened. But hey, I agree with you on many counts.
Yes, trust is so so so fragile. I always think of it like a crystal. Easy to break and once broken, it can never be repaired.
I don't know about you, but for me I find it very difficult to trust anyone. I can't even give anyone that "full bar of trust" anymore. Is that bad? Or is it good that I'm being cautious? Where is the line?
I always put people through those series of tests. If they fail, I give up on them. And each time this occurs, the more I give up on the hope that someday I will find someone who I can trust.
Nevertheless, I do sincerely hope you find someone who you can trust (other than family). Good people are difficult to find and sometimes they are just there waiting but can't be seen because the idea of putting your trust in someone is sooo damn scary.
But man, I can't believe I had to sign up to comment on your blog........ But I guess you signed up on mine. Ha!
Take care deary and if you need someone to talk to I'm only a call/msg away.
Sammy :)
By
Sammy, at 4:25 AM
I really think that I have had way toooo much time on my hands and yes...I have been thinking a lot. I've been badly burnt in the past, so its just something I wanted to share.
Thanks for your insight Sammy. I can feel that you hold things back when I talk to you. But I guess that is a result of your past experience.
By
Kelvin, at 11:38 PM
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